Sunday, November 28, 2004

Follow-up on cliched writing, and a Reader Contest!

Sorry to keep flogging poor Tom Perrotta, but we have a winner for cliched and stereotyped writing in "Little Children."
From page 190, describing a women's book group: "[T]he atmosphere inside Bridget's condo was warm and welcoming, full of laughter and intellectual curiosity. Over here an informed conversation about the films of Mike Leigh. Over there an impassioned discussion of third-world debt relief."
What, no Save the Marmosets fund drive in a third corner? And maybe they could be exchanging Vegan dog food recipes in the fourth?
But on to the contest: change the key words to make it more interesting.
Here is my entry, just to show the general idea:
"The atmosphere in Bertha's cell block was hateful and hideous, full of smirking and emotional emptiness. Over here, an informed conversation about the snuff films of John Wayne Gacy. Over there a gloating discussion of famous third world famines."
Use the comments feature if you want to try your own.

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