Amusing link in popmatters.com to something that really should have happened:
From the Friar’s Club Roast of Donald Rumsfeld
Hoover Theater, Washington, D.C.
President George W. Bush: “… heckuva job, Rummy, heckuva job. I should’ve gone with my first choice for Secretary of Defense—a retarded Doberman! (RAUCOUS LAUGHTER FROM CROWD) Hahaha! Haha! Ha! When Don first came to me about Congressional oversight, I said—Donny! Bubalah! Forget about it! If I was worried about Congress, I’d have dissolved the whole branch after breakfast! (MORE RAUCOUS LAUGHTER) … I kid, though, I kid. Look, Rummy, I know how you feel. I once made a real big mess myself—woke up in south Houston with a Mexican hooker and a coke hangover like you wouldn’t believe. Luckily, I had Dad’s pals to bail me out. Hey, wait a second! We got ‘em this time, too! Hawhawhaw! Aha! Ah!"